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Rabbit
At that time I was challenging certain ideas about words (and traditional ideas in general? well, I guess I'm always doing that). You see, I don't believe that I must be a servant to Webster's Dictionary. I feel I should be able to use language in ways that work for me- rearrange meanings if I see fit or make-up new ones all together. Most people do this very thing with their close friends, in th e form of what is sometimes called an "inside joke". An inside joke could be a word spoken with a certain facial expression or a word that you make up that perfectly captures its subject matter. When you communicate one of these goodies to your friends, you know that they know exactly what you are talking about. What's going on, is that a language is being formed- a language that applies to you and your friends' particular connection and circumstance. The way I see it is like this. Some person makes a discovery and then in wanting to communicate it, organizes it by applying a word or principal to it. Once the principle or word is accepted into the larger community and time has passed- what often happens is that people get to be slaves to it. The tradition gets to be so strong that it is as if "God" himself came down and said it was as real as the rose is red. (This is as true with words as it is with beliefs and principles.) Anyway, it becomes like a fucking dictatorship, whereby if you don't use the "proper use" of a word (or in the case of music, the "proper music theory")- that you are wrong and must be seve rely punished. Either that or you get an "F" because you didn't properly conform. Perhaps I'm going a little overboard, but perhaps I am not at all. You see, in my life, I don't worry about this shit. I don't give power to tradition and rules too much. But don't get me wrong. I like a complete sentence as much as the next person. I just don't feel that I have to abide by it. Sometime ago, I declared myself free. Free to create and not regurgitate. I just see it as my right as an artist. And we are all artists if we choose to be. By the way, if you are reading the lyrics by themselves without hearing the music against them- then you are not getting the complete sentence of it. With music and lyrics, it's important that they go together- just as sure as my coffee should be joined with heavy whipping cream. THE RABBIT GLAMOUR COVER: Because of this, and other reasons, I decided to create a mock glamour album cover. Druyan Byrne (the photographer) was great to work with on this idea and together we beefed the shit up as much as possible. It just felt good to free myself from my own resistance to not be that "MTV" way and therefor be as obnoxiously glamorous as I could possibly muster. Of course, some people misunderstood my intent. Oh well. All I can say is that the glamour stick figure is the give away and reflects my sometimes strange, but unique sense of humor. Not everyone is going to get it and that's just life. Anyway, the cover is really a perfect reflection of the album because the album is about challenging the status quo. With songs "Rabbit" and "Junkdrawer", I challenge the use of words by using them in both ordinary and unordinary ways, all at the same time. So for example, in "Junkdrawer Waltz", the words present a surface, literal subject matter and a deeper metaphorical one all at once. (I did this with "LA 101" on the "Cruel" CD where I'm describing riding on the freeway and at the same time describing being intimate with myself, all the while laying down the foundation for a more serious topic.) With "The Ride" I begin to question the role of the record-man, the music industry and my own power (a subject which will be well executed on my third CD, "The Musician"). "The Split" reflected on the need to get back in balance?to go inside? to connect with nature and our emotional roots. What was really fun was making "The New Age Credits", "Don't Say" and "You Are." It's so exciting to have ideas and to have the opportunity to execute them spontaneously, which I got to do with these pieces. Overall, I feel that"Rabbit" is a totally unique CD and it's got a style that I would never be able to match again. It just captures, like all recordings capture a little bit of that time period and I'm so grateful fo r what it taught me and reflected back to me. I know with "Rabbit" I was attempting to be easier on the listener who has a hard time with intensity. And it was great to put myself in touch with those more effervescent landscapes in myself. In so doing, the "Rabbit" CD served in the larger balance of things, by letting me realize that I didn't need to be afraid of letting my intensity show through for the next time. The content of the next record, "The Musician" is comprised of the rawest form of honesty and makes no apologies about it. You see, I've sort of come full circle and I'm not even getting caught up in the fact that some people have a hard time with the potency of my emotion. It's going to be coming through on "The Musician" like a motherfucker and that's that. See, some people are going to dig what you do and some people aren't. So if you make a pop bullshit record, there will be those who like it and those who don't. If you make a record of integrity, there will be those who like it and those who don't. But guess which one is going to feel better to you- the author? Guess which one will feed y our soul? And guess which one will better reflect and bring back to you those who relate to you in ways that are really important? And if connection is what you're after- both within yourself and with others- there's only one clear choice. I know what my choice is. And I know I'm choosing well. ABOUT THE PAINTS, CANVAS & REFLECTIONS: Anyway, with "Cruel", I was craving to have the final mixes be fatter, have more width and warmth- traits that are usually associated with analog tape and tube gear. No one seemed to know how to get this the digital way although I was working with some experienced engineers. So anyway, my point is, that I wanted to explore this debate, so I decided to record "Rabbit" largely onto to two inch analog tape- 16 track. < /p> The studio we chose was Audio International in Ojai, CA with Julie Last engineering. The first thing we did was experiment with the question at hand by recording simultaneously to digital and analog tape. From there, we listened to both to see what the differences were. There wasn't a real blatant difference- but there was a quality with the tape that I liked, so we went with it. Unfortunately, I think the beauty of what was present on that tape got lost in part during the analog to digital conversion. That's why with my present project, "The Musician" I made damn sure that I had the best A/D converters I could get my hands on. And that converter is of course my Apogee 24 bit A/D converter (Which is a great company with outstanding technical support. (Thank you Chris and Roger!)) I'm sorry if I'm getting obnoxiously technical here, but you must understand where I'm coming from. All these technical aspects are very important because they are the paints, the colors in which a recording artist makes their musical landscape. You can't just go in a room, switch on a recorder and have it sound l ike what you hear in real life. It's not real life. The process of recording is just a reflection of real life. But if you want something that sounds relatively real, you have to get tricky and technical to mimic what goes on in the moment. (Not to mention inspired). Although I adore the process, I know damn well that no recording, no matter how wonderfully recorded will ever really capture what it is to play or hear the music live. That's just a basic fact of life as far as I'm concerned. It's like a photograph. A photograph of the Grand Canyon can have all the detail of what the eye can see, all the color? but it can never be like being at the Grand Canyon and experiencing what you do when you are actually there. And anybody who's been there, particularly at the North entrance (on a day when there's not too many obnoxious tourists)- knows what the hell I'm talking about. Before I went, I had seen pictures that looked very beautiful and powerful- but when I actually went there? Well- I was so moved that I just had to sit my ass down and cry. For you see, it was not like the pi cture! It was not a reflection. It was real. Real contact, real life! But don't get me wrong. I love reflections and what they can do. And I love the process of being a recording artist. But let us not forget where the shit is really at- and that is live music! (But there can be some weird reflection problems with that too.) Anyway, the point is that reflections cannot capture who we are, for we are always moving through time and space and emotion and circumstance. It's helpful for me to know this. That I am not really my music. That I am not even my personality. I just am- neither good nor bad. I just am. But I try my damnest anyway? to try to encapsulate all this beauty and love happening around me through the process of recording. THE STORY OF THE RABBIT THEME: I have this thing that happens to me sometimes. I call it synchronicity. Here's how it works. I might start thinking about a friend who I haven't seen or talked to for months or years and at that very moment, they come walking up my driveway or calling me on the phone. Another example would be sitting with a friend and not talking for many hours and then suddenly spurting out the same exact thing at the same exact time. Anyway, I find this happens quite a bit to me, especially on certain days in spurts. This incidence wasn't really a synchronicity, but more of a moment of "ahhhh". I was teaching my hip-hop clas s and at the end of class when we were stretching, I was telling them about what happened with the rabbit that kitty brought in. (we talk about everything at the end of class from the latest Trader Joe items to enemas). Anyway, what happened was that the rabbit started getting sick soon after we got it away from kitty. Of course, as you know, rabbits are creatures that appear to be scared shitless and this rabbit was no exception- hiding behind the toilet. Anyway, Brendan was home at the time when the rabbit's defenses started to weaken and he was able to hold the child in his hands. From there the rabbit looked up at him, drew out one final breath and died. A woman in my class looked at me in a most enlightened manner and simply said to me- "In some cultures rabbits represent fear. When that rabbit died, a big fear in you died." Blown away and inspired, I began writing "Rabbit." And from there, that fear has been dissipating in me more and more because the love in me has been getting fatter and fatter.
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